Bloody Dagger Through Her Heart
by heartdamoose
Summary: A Poemfic based off of my friend's poem. Has Kel going through her needs for a certain friend's love. One shot.


Hi!

My friend Eddy gave me this really cool poem thing and I asked if I could use it as a poem/fic thing.

Of course she said yes!

And here I am…

This is for you Edster! I hope you like it!

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_It's not like you can't hear me._

_It's not like you can't listen._

_It's not like you want to see me._

_But I'm here._

_Every day._

_Every night._

_I'm here._

Kel was devastated as she sat on the foot of her bed. She loved a friend, but he didn't love her, and she knew it. He saw her as a sexless knight in training friend, not a lover in the least.

No matter how much she tried to push his face out of her mind, it came back stronger and stronger. That beautiful face was slowly driving her into the ground. Of course she knew that such thoughts would distract her from her tiring training however.

It would just distract her even more if she tried to push it out of her mind wouldn't it?

Stupid, that's just an excuse and you know it, she scolded to herself.

Kel began to fool her mind into thinking that such feelings would make her a bird-brained court girl.

It almost worked.

_I look for you._

_But you can't see me._

_I can feel your presence._

_But you don't know me._

_I can understand why you're being like this._

_If you can understand why I'm so lost and confused._

_I don't want you to burn_

_Or hurt_

_The way I do._

_Realizing you don't care._

_You don't care._

He saw her as a good friend. A playmate on rainy days.

Kel saw him as so much more. During class, she would find herself staring into his majestic eyes, but he never noticed. He didn't know her at all. They were best friends, but could he be so oblivious asto what was right under his nose?

Or maybe he's ignoring you, said the part of her that she had began to loathe. Gods she was so confused. Just a tiny clue would help.

The reasonable part of her mind kept telling her he didn't care, not one bit. When she was fighting in the practice yards and fell in pain, he didn't even seem to notice.

It made her mad, but even more it made her devastated.

He didn't even care for her as a friend. It brought tears to her eyes.

_If I died_

_Would you really notice?_

_Would you want to notice?_

_Would you feel bad?_

_Would it burn?_

_Would it hurt?_

_Would you cry?_

That night, those mixed feelings took hold of her. She brought her dagger to her heart. It just so happened it was a gift from him.

Come on do it. Just to see how he would feel. All of those questions will be answered. You'll know how he really feels.

No. I can't. I have a dream, and I wont let it be taken away by this little crush.

Little crush? This is no crush. He is your life. You'll make him feel guilty. You will do it with his dagger. He'll know it was all his fault.

Kel collapsed on the ground. The dagger fell as well and landed inches away from her head.

_If I talked to you_

_Would you turn away?_

_Would you laugh?_

_Would you smile…I love it when you do._

_If I saved your life _

_Would you thank me?_

_Would you recognize me_

_From how it used to be?_

They talked today. He looked concerned. Or maybe it was just an act.

Kel smiled the biggest smile she could without showing her feelings as she fought a mental war in her mind.

He asked if she was okay.

Of course Kel lied.

Kel could see his suspicion grow however. Even if it was only an act.

He smiled his faint-worthy smile. Oh how she savoured it.

It made her knees buckle.

He helped her up, and for only sleight seconds, their lips were only inches apart.

Kel asked him a question she wasn't planning to. The daring side of her headwon this war. "If I saved your life, how would you feel?"

Kel fought down blushes.

He only shrugged, saying it was a complicated question.

A complicated question? Dammit would he _ever _understand?

_If you saved mine_

_Would it be an accident?_

_Would it be coincidence?_

_Would you wake up,_

_Open your eyes_

_And see me?_

_Would you remember_

_Remember how we used to be?_

He caught her in her room. Once again her mind took over as she held that dagger to her heart.

Kel's eyes grew wide when she saw him barge in. She felt longing, sadness, anger.

"Kel, what are you doing?" he asked with horror.

She dropped the war in her mind like she dropped the dagger. The blade made a clatter against the wooden ground. Tears fell down her cheeks.

"Neal, Please help me."

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Wow. Major ending…

No I'm not going to continue it silly!

Toodles…

Review pplllllleeeaaaassee!

Disclaimer: Eddy owns the poem, the plot line goes to me, and TP own the characters.


End file.
